Peeping Eddie
by DancerOfTheMoon
Summary: When Bella moves to Forks, Edward is intent on discovering everything about her, even if that involves a little creeping & peeping. Will he get what he wants? How does Bella feel about him? Crazy, comedic romance with some drama. OOC AH Lang & Dark Th    Collab with Pain-In-The-Dance
1. Ch 1 Lust at First Sight

**A/N: *Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters***

**Hey guys this is my first fanfic and the second for my partner in crime: Pain-In-The-Dance. So just take that into consideration...even though I think we're pretty good for a couple of rookies ;) Just some little tips: Peeping Eddie is meant to be a play on the phrase "peeping tom" and fawkward is just fucking awkward shortened, just like the word fugly. Anywho, without further ado here's 'Peeping Eddie'. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 1. Lust At First Sight<em>

* * *

><p>EPOV<p>

Why is school always so fudging boring? Ugh, I just want to go sit in my car in the parking lot and take a nap...maybe have a wet dream. Yeah cause I'm bad like that, no one will ever catch THE Edward acting like a pussy!

_Just keep telling yourself that, buddy. _

Shut up Edward!

_Because you're so cool you have chats with your inner self. _

Well stop talking to me then!

_Okay but you do have a soft spot so stop acting so tough. _

I do not. Don't listen to him.

_Shall we take a look at your "My Little Pony" DVD collection? _

That's Alice's! I swear!

_Riiight. _

I hear the bell ring. YES LUNCH! Freedom! Alice runs up to me as I'm walking out of trigonometry and sings annoyingly, "Hey, big brother!"

Alice is my crazy hyper, annoying but sweet little sister. Sure, I act like a dick to her sometimes, but I care for her a lot more than I would lead anyone to believe.

"Ugh, Alice what did I say about confronting me during school hours?"

Her smile turns into a pout. "Right, sorry."

As she's walking away I can't help but feel a little shitty so I let out an, "Alice, wait."

She turns around with a raised eyebrow.

"Later," I say with a wink.

She gives me a curt nod but I see the hint of a smile playing at her lips. That's good enough for me.

~o~o~

Today's lunch tastes like ass, and Jessica won't stop talking in my ear... or nibbling on it.

Her shrill voice asks, "So baby, what do you want to do after school?"

"Maybe go home, you know, away from you so you can take your Ritalin."

"You're so rude sometimes!" She yells before slapping me on the shoulder. I don't give a flappin' pancake...the hit feels like a feather lightly brushing against my skin.

"Woah, dude look at that foxy grandma who just walked in," Eric says in an effort to sound cool, but it has just the opposite effect.

And Mike follows up with, "Oh stop with the freaking 70s talk, Er-... DAMN she's fine!"

I turn around to see what all the commotion is about and..._wow_ she shines just like the finest diamond in the jewelry shop.

_What was that? _

Nothing! I, umm, meant: Shiiiizzle I want to shove my banana in her donut she looks like a good one night stand!

By listening to the discussion at the table I easily find out she's new here and her name is Bella Swan. _Even her name is sexy._ Just a glance at her and I immediately find myself noticing she's got these deep pools of chocolate brown for eyes that match the fountain of chocolate locks of hair. She also has nice full lips and a petite body that's curvy in all the right places. And I'll be damned if her cheeks could get any redder.

She sits down at the end of our table next to Angela and Ben. Most everyone is staring at her but Jessica starts blabbing away.

"So Bella, this is like totes the coolest table at lunch! Only the hotties get to sit here."

"That's great, we had a table like this back in Phoenix but," she leans in toward Jessica, "some of the people here look a little fugly."

"Oh yeah well it's Forks what did you expect? Not too many spicy people out here like moi, but the ones we can find sit here. And the rest well...they have cool enough personalities."

I cut in, "Gee Jess, I didn't know you could look past the outside."

"And who's this?" asks Bella.

Jessica answers, "Edward, my douche bag of a boyfriend."

Bella chuckles. "Ah well, at least he has one of the qualifications for this table."

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Oh who gives a crapper, she's so hawt and she's talking to me.

_Wow, Edward are we 10 again? I thought we went through puberty. _

Right, I mean I'm so gonna stalk this chick and maybe even rape her! No. No, no, no! I didn't mean to think that. Dirty Eddie came out to play for a second there. No worries. But stalking does sound nice if she's involved.

As lunch progresses, my brain makes the connection and I realize that she is the daughter of Charlie Swan, the chief of police here in Forks. Shit! How am I going to stalk her with him in the way?

_You're really going to stalk her? _

Yeah, and get her to have you know what with me!

_'You know what'? Really, Edward? _

Well she's so flappin' hawt and I can't help it if she reduces my brain to the size of a 10 year old boy's penis!

_Your reputation is going to go in the crapper if anyone finds out. _

"So Bella..."

She looks up at me expectantly. "Yeah?"

"Tell us about yourself."

"Uh, okay well I used to live with my mom in Arizona until she got remarried to this dude named Phil. I felt the need to leave 'cause I just couldn't deal with the constant moaning and banging on the walls every night. Those two fuck like rabbits in heat. It's disturbing."

_Mmm...I'd love to put her in the heat and feel up on her rabbits... _

"Ew!" the female population at the table exclaims.

She continues, "Anyways, I moved here with my dad and it's pretty fawkward so far. I walked in on him watching porn one time. But back to my story, in Phoenix I hung out with the "cool kids" and it was nice. I'm hoping you guys are just as pimpin' as they were."

Eric grins widely and states, "I'm a pimp, you can be my ho if you'd like!"

Abruptly, I shoot up from the table, "NO!" I exclaim.

All eyes turn to me and I wonder what has gotten into me. I want to correct my mistake but the bell rings, making it impossible. I walk up to Bella as she stands up.

"What's your next class?"

"Biology, you?"

"Me too!" _Heh, heh, heh... _

~o~o~

We are in Biology now, and I feel like Mr. Banner can sense my urge to have groovy times with Bella, because he tells her that her new seat is next to me. Eff yeah! Suck on that Eric! And I don't mean my balls...because I'm not gay!

Bella keeps glancing at me through out class and she thinks I don't know. Hah! What a sweet, innocent little bear. I can't wait to pop her blackberry..._or is it orange? _

"Cherry," says Mr. Banner, "is an example of a fruit. Fruits are the protective coats for seeds, and aide in seed dispersal."

I am barely paying attention. All I can focus on is how sexy Bella looks. She abruptly turns toward me and I'm not expecting it so our gazes lock with each other. I feel like her chocolate orbs are burning into me and can see straight into my soul. I don't want to, but I can't help feeling exposed, so I break the eye contact. The bell rings and when I look back to her she is hiding behind her hair and between some strands I see that beautiful blush of her's in full force. She quickly gathers her things and leaves. I'm still sitting in my seat, thinking.

I want her so bad but at the same time I feel like she might not be good for me. Then again she could be the best thing that ever happened to me. She's like a burger.

_Oh my God, you are seriously comparing her to a BURGER now? _

Yes...a juicy, delicious burger! Well damn, if she's a burger, can I have some fries with that? I need to explore this strange female some more, and ASAP. If that includes me stalking her, then that's how it shall go down.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So? What d'ya think? I hope you will grow to love Peepward as much as we do :) We know this is very short but it is only the first chapter and we are aiming to see what kind of response we get. Future chapters will be longer. FYI, there will be BPOV as well. Please give us feedback! Good or bad, we could use the criticism. And of course let us know if you want more. Thank you very much! xoxo M&M**


	2. Ch 2 A Fucked Up Day in the Car Park

**A/N: *Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight or any of the characters* **

**Hey guys, I'll talk to you at the bottom! Enjoy! **

**... **

**... **

**... **

_Chapter 2. A Fucked Up Day in the Car Park _

EPOV

By the end of the day my thoughts are still consumed by Bella _sexy ass _Swan. I don't get what it is about her that's so disarming and charming..._other than that beautiful face of her's and that perfect body. _I'm completely engrossed in my plans to find out everything about her as I hop into my baby.

Okay. That sounds wrong.

My baby as in my Volvo. I love my car, mmm, I have quite a few memories in here. Just an example would be popping Jessica's cherry. She was so insecure. It was junior prom night and she was clingy as hell, of course that didn't help matters with my 'little Ed' down there wanting to come out and play. Anyways, it was right there on the backseat..._yeeeeah buddy! Gettin' it, Ed! _

"Shut up, inner monologue! It wasn't even that good!"

"Hey, Eddie!" Emmett greets me, "who ya talkin' to?"

"Hmm? Oh, I wasn't talking! I was uh... singing! Yeah!" is my weak excuse.

"Whatever you say Eddie," Em chuckles.

"And stop calling me Eddie! I fucking hate that!"

He tilts his head back and explodes with laughter. "Neverrrrrr," he bellows out.

Emmett is my best friend. He's also my sister's boyfriend. No, not that sister. Rosalie. You see, Rose and Alice are fraternal twins and are a year younger than me. It's tough being the only guy, if you don't count my dad. Plus, he's always on the girls' side...it sucks balls. Atleast I have Mom, she adores me, I guess you could say I'm a mama's boy. I don't give a shit, it works for me and I'm not ashamed to say I love my mom.

Anyways, back to Emmett. He is a big guy, and I mean BIG. I don't know if that's unfortunate or not cause I heard big guys have small penises..._what the FLOCK are you talking about?_ I don't know, okay, gosh! I'm sorry! He's tall and has some mean muscles but he's just like a giant teddy bear once you get to know him.

We are sitting in the car and waiting for my sisters when all of a sudden...

"Hayyy bitches!" I hear Alice shout from across the parking lot. "I'm getting a ride with Jazzy!"

"Oh no she's not..." I mutter as I get out of the car.

Now, you see, like I said before I am not too fond of showing emotion but I love my sisters and I will protect them like a lioness protects her cubs. _Haha. Pussy. _Shut the front door, you whore! I haven't gotten completely comfortable with Jasper yet. Jasper would be Alice's new boyfriend. The guy seems cool enough but he is a nervous trainwreck when he's around me. I guess that's a good sign that he's worried about making a good impression. He cares. It's a nice feeling. Seriously though, he's as calm as a rock when he's around everyone else.

I start to stride over to where my pixie of a sister is but I'm stopped dead in my tracks when I hear a loud "EEEEEEEEKKKKK!".

I snap my head around to try and find the source of the squeal, almost giving myself whiplash in the process. And there it is: Jessica almost got hit by a huge red Chevy truck while trying to run over here to hitch a ride with me. _Or on you...hahaha._

I am fixing to applaud the godsend who almost hit her when I see Emmett and Rosalie, _I wonder when she got here,_ fist pumping inside of the car. Em yells out, "Wooooo, go Chevy!" And then the next thing I know there is a loud uproar of cheers and applause directed at the Chevy driver. I also take notice of the fact that I am one of the many applauding students. Oh wait, it's not just the students. Wha- is that Mrs. Cope? Mrs. Goff? Mr. Banner? Coach Clapp? Damn.

Jessica is just standing there in shock and completely flustered. I see her face starting to become a mushed up mess of anger. Just then I finally see the driver's door to the Chevy fly open and out comes..._Bella? _

If I thought Jessica was flustered, I was sadly mistaken. The way Bella's acting makes Jessica look like she's completely at ease. Bella jogs over to where Jessica stands and starts firing off frantic apologies.

"Oh-oh my God...Jess! I'm s-so sorry! I wasn't paying attention and I'm such an idiot. Are you okay?"

Jess stares at her for a second and then her face slowly transforms into a small smile. By now, the loud appreciation for Bella has died and most people are no longer watching.

I strain to hear when Jessica begins to speak. "It's fine, Bellybabes. I know you didn't mean to, plus look at all the attention I got! Everyone was so happy to see that I was okay!"

"Uhh.." Bella struggles with her words as her confused eyes glance around as if she'll find an answer hanging in the air. Her eyes land on mine, that have been watching her, and I give her a grin and a wink as I silently chuckle. She's such a smart fox and knows to tread carefully around Jess. _WTF is a "smart fox"? _Your mom! _Oh you're cool now, throwing out insults about your OWN MOTHER. _Shit I forgot...I'm talking to myself...in my head. This is sad.

My attention snaps back to what is occurring in front of me when I hear Bella's sweet voice say, "Yeah everybody just...loves you so much. But it still wasn't a good thing that I almost hit you. I really am sorry..."

Jessica is still beaming, "Don't sweat it hun'. It's all good!"

"Well okay, uh, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Toodles!" Jessica yells as she spots me and starts to walk in my direction. Shit. _Shit, shit, shit, fuck! _I do not need this right now, I need to go take care of my sister. I decide to just pretend like I didn't see her as I begin heading over to Jasper's car.

Once I reach the passenger side I knock on the window before I look in. When I do look in I see Alice's head pull back and her wide eyes look up at me. Jasper has lipstick all over his face. Sick! Ball sack! I did not need to know that this is what's going on when I'm not around! What a cunt, can't he kiss my sister in private?

_Woah there, Ed, buddy...stay cool. It's not like you haven't kissed girls before. And those girls had brothers. _

Yeah, but I'm an asshole! I would never want my sisters to be dating someone like me!

_Jasper's not an asshole. You know that. _

Alright, alright. I'm chilling out.

Alice rolls down the window as her surprised face turns into one of anger. "Go away, Edward! You don't need to be up my butt all the time. I thought you didn't like to have encounters with me at school anyways, douche bag!"

"You. Are riding home with me." I state sternly.

"No, I'm not! I can do what I want, you're not Dad!"

I look over at Jasper and he immediately starts freaking out. "Um, uh, Alice...I think you should g-go with your brother."

"Thank you," I offer.

Alice turns her glare from me to Jasper. "You need to stand up for yourself, Jazz! Don't you want to give me a ride home?" She is now pouting at him and using her big, blue puppy dog eyes.

The poor guy looks really helpless right now. I decide it would be nice for Alice not to be mad at me tonight, so I let them off with a "You will drive her straight home. No stopping for make out sessions. Leave now."

Alice still looks upset but I see a little glimmer of happiness in her eyes when she turns back to me as she rolls up the window. I mouth, "You're welcome," and walk away.

As I'm walking back to my car I notice that Bella is no where in sight. What is this weird feeling I have, I... _miss her? _

_Dude, hop OFF of the pussy train. _

Shut up, I can't help it ass wad. She's so enchanting.

_Enchanting? You are so gone... _

When I reach my car, I see Jessica leaning into passenger side backseat window having an argument with Rosalie. Great.

"Let me in the car!"

"No, you slut, go get a ride from somebody who actually likes you. Oh wait, no one does!"

"That's the stupidest bullshit I've ever heard," Jess scoffs.

"You're so delusional..." Rose mutters.

I get in the car, lock the doors, and look over at Em who's smirking at Rose in the mirror while stuffing cheetos into his mouth. Jessica sees me, runs over to my window and proceeds to bang on it.

"Eddie babeeeyyyy...can you open the door?" she flashes me what I guess she thinks is a charming smile. It looks more like she is trying not to puke.

"Uh, what? Sorry...I can't hear you!" I lie as I start the car.

"I NEED A RIDE, HONEY!" she is completely embarassing herself.

I point to my ear and shake my head. Emmett looks like he is suffocating and Rose appears fairly amused.

Seeing that there is enough room to pull out of the parking space, I go for it. And cue Jess panicking. I pretend to not see her and get the flock out of there. Emmett's booming laughter fills the car and Rose says, "Wow, Ed, nice job."

"Thank you, thank you very much," I immitate Elvis as we speed away from Forks High School.

~o~o~

After dropping Em off and going home, we enter the front door to see a very happy Alice trying to dance with Mom around the living room. I turn to Rose with a questioning look but she just rolls her eyes and heads upstairs.

I walk into the living room and say, "What the hell has gotten into your pants that's making you jump and convulse like that?"

Mom giggles as Alice lets go of her and skips over to me. I am surprised when she wraps her small arms around me and squeals out, "thankyousomuchbigbrother!" It takes me a moment to decipher her word jumble.

"Uh, for what Al?"

"For letting me ride with Jazz! Duh!"

"Oh, you're...welcome? You didn't seem this happy about it earlier..."

"That's because earlier he hadn't asked me to PROM YET!" And she's off dancing around the house again. I let out a groan as Mom walks over to me.

"Hi, sweetie, how was your day?"

"Just fine, thanks, until I found out about the pending deflowering of my little sister."

She just laughs at me. Great, mom. I thought you were supposed to be on my side. "Oh, darling Edward. Don't you know by now that Alice is quite capable of taking care of herself and knows how to protect herself from the things she knows are wrong? Jasper is a nice young man, and I highly doubt he would come on to her like that. Especially at prom." She leaves me standing there and walks into the kitchen to start on dinner.

Irritated by everyone, I start heading up the stairs to my bedroom. About 5 seconds after I have my door closed I hear two girly screams from the third floor. Guess Alice just told Rose the news...fuck prom. _Now, now Eddie boy don't be so quick to judge prom. You know you had some pretty good times at your junior prom. And by good times I mean sexual times...wonder what Bella babe thinks of prom? _

Hmm, internal Ed does have a pretty good point. Maybe I can make some good come out of this prom. Like letting something good go into Bella, if you catch my drift. Heh, heh...

~o~o~

BPOV

I storm out of biology quickly whilst attempting to hide my growing blush. _Could I be any more awkward? No, I don't think so._ Of course being Bella Swan means anything is possible when it comes to how embarrassed a person can become, and getting caught staring at the most gorgeous boy you've ever seen is only a three on the B.E.S. (Bella Embarrassment Scale).

"Fuck, where am I going?" I ask no one in particular after wandering down a deserted hallway. _Great, I'm gonna be late to gym. Well maybe it's a blessing in disguise._ Smiling to myself, I concede that I'm not going to find the locker room. "I may as well make the most of it."

"Make the most of what?" someone behind me asks.

_Stalker alert! _"Shit! Who is that?" I whip my head around trying to find him.

"Ballsack! Chill out! It's Mike. Remember? The only guy at lunch who was actually cool? Where are you going anyway?"

_Mike? Who the fu..._ "Oh, you mean the douche with the Pauly D hair? Fuck, did I say that out loud?"

"You think my hair looks like Pauly D's? Fuck yeah!"

_Since when is that a good thing?_ "Uhh... okay. Do you know where the gym is?"

"Yeah, actually, that's my next class! We can be partners!"

You've got to be shitting me...

~o~o~

After getting stopped by a ginger hallway monitor_ (seriously, why in the hell does that still exist?) _who had a boner, we finally made it to the locker rooms just seconds before the bell rang. So, while the girls stripped I was issued a locker and a set of gym clothes. With only enough time to find my locker, and due to the fact that I was new, I was allowed to sit out for the day's activity (volleyball, blegh). Of course being Bella Swan comes with its...added perks. A total of six balls hit me before the end of the day; two of which being Mike Newton's. I was, to say the least, relieved when the final bell rang.

"Hey, Bella! Wait up," Mike I-Like-Smacking-Bella-With-My-Balls Newton commanded. _Fuck off, Dick. No, I'll call you Dyke! Cause dick and Mike make Dyke._ "Did you say something Bella?"

"Huh? Oh...no! I was just thinking about my bike! Yeah! I used to go biking all the time in Arizona."

"Oh, that's cool. My parents own a sporting goods store. I could get you a discount on a bike. Maybe even show you some of the trails around Forks." _This guy needs to get laid. _

"That's nice, Dy...er Mike. I've gotta go now. My Dad's expecting me, and he can't cook...so...bye," I half-lied while walking outside towards my truck.

The clunker of a truck that my dad "bought" for me was parked near the front entrance of the parking lot, a great spot for my first day. The only downside to having a car parked near the front that I could see, was the amount of pedestrian traffic going on around it. I slide into the front seat and as I begin backing out I think over the things that I need to do later. _Okay, things to do before I get home: Go to the grocery store and buy food for dinner, buy some new batteries for my 'toys', find out where Dyke's parents store is so I can avoid it at all costs...FUCK! _I immediately slam on my breaks as I see something, or someone, with big tits dash right behind my Chevy.

"EEEEEEEEKKKKK!"

"Who the dick was that?" I wonder as I whip my head around. _Shit! I almost ran over some bitch! What was her name again? Janet? Julie...Jessica!_ I thankfully remember her name as I jog over to her. "Oh-oh my God...Jess! I'm s-so sorry! I wasn't paying attention... God, I'm such an idiot! Are you okay?" I frantically question while people applaud me for not paying attention.

Jess-I-Have-Huge-Fake-Knockers-ica must have brain damage or something because she just stares at me for several seconds before she smiles and says, "It's fine, Bellybabes. I know you didn't mean to," right now I kind of wish I had meant it (_Bellybabes, really?_), "plus look at all the attention I got! Everyone was so happy to see that I was okay!"

"Uhh..." I lamely respond while glancing around trying to figure out what to say to this delusional bitch. As luck would have it the very person I spent an entire period staring at, Edward I think, has apparently witnessed my embarrassing, accidental attempt at murder, and locks eyes with me. And what does he do? Grins and winks. _Why are you grinning? Stop trying to distract me with that perfect, crooked smile of yours you sexy bastard! Who the hell even winks anymore? Shit focus, Bella! What's a good response for Jessifuck? Screw it, I'll just feed her ego!_ "Yeah everybody just...loves you so much. But it still wasn't a good thing that I almost hit you. I really am sorry..." Yeah! That's good!

"Don't sweat it hun'. It's all good!" Jessica replies with a smile still plastered on her face.

"Well okay, uh, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Toodles!" Jessica thankfully ends our awkward conversation, but of course she immediately heads toward Edward.

"Bitch," I mumble while she walks away. I turn on my heels then slide back into my truck. When I back out this time I make sure there are no dumb asses about to get run over behind me. Glancing to my left, I see Edward next to a nice car glaring at the blonde queer in the driver's seat and his short boyfriend. Both of them look guiltily back at Edward. _Huh, I guess Eddie's gay. That's a damn shame. _I look away before they notice, and pull into the street; thus, leaving the school parking lot.

**... **

**... **

**... **

**A/N: Told y'all there'd be some BPOV ;) Sorry it took us such a long time to get this second chapter up. Real life keeps us busy. **

**We love reviews! Let us know how you liked it and if you want more! Also if there's something you'd like to see just tell us and we'll definitely consider it! **

**Remember to check out my partner: Pain-In-The-Dance 's profile and her own story "Midnight". It's great but be warned it is on hiatus right now! **

**Thanks so much for reading- xoxo M&M **


End file.
